I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
