Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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