my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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