NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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