happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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