I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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