pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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