Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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