his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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