How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
