I heard we made out
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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