I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is wine microwaveable?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
