she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize