Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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