How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
