He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
