i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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