I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
