Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
