Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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