i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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