That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
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