is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
handjob tips. give me some.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
