There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
