What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize