dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
