It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
