i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
