we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
