oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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