why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
