Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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