maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
