The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
