i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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