just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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