I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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