Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
