There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
