she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
