haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
