ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Rumble strips road head = magical
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
