Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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