Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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