it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
