operation harelip BJ is a go
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize