Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
