i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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