Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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