I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I party with great urgency now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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