my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
