How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
