Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
