Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
