Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
