WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
