And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Farmville is her only friend.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
