we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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